Arguments with your girlfriend, unfortunately, are a fact of life at some point in a relationship. Disagreements seem bound to happen despite all the love and respect you feel for each other. You’ll be having a good time together, then one of you says or does something, and all of a sudden you’re arguing!
You see, “winning” doesn’t really matter – if you keep getting into arguments, you lost! Is it possible to quit the bickering and get along while the relationship is still strong?
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #1 — Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
If you fight about every trivial thing, then even the important things will wind up appearing trivial. Is it really important to get your way all the time? Do you think it’s possible? Or desirable? If you know she’s got a problem with punctuality, for example, does it make sense to start bickering with her every time she shows up late? If you start the evening off bickering about her lateness, that’s going to be the tone for the entire evening. Sound like fun? If it doesn’t, don’t let her being a few minutes late ruin her evening – and yours.
Don’t misunderstand – there are plenty of big things that might happen that you’ll have to confront her on. My advice to let the small things slide doesn’t mean I’m advocating infidelity. You’ve got to confront her as soon as you find out about such major transgressions. But if she left the cap off the toothpaste tube, so what? I mean, cry me a river! Let it go!
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #2 — Share Your Heart
You’re probably familiar with the problem – guys like to keep issues – even the serious ones – bottled up inside themselves. We let issues just sit there and simmer until all of a sudden they boil over. Adults can’t deal with issues like this. For instance, if you find yourself picking up the tab all the time and it bothers you, let her know that it feels wrong to you.
Name-calling and accusations can’t be part of this conversation, though, or you’ll just have another fight. Not everything that annoys you was done deliberately for that purpose. It may be that she was brought up to think it’s demeaning to a guy for a woman to pay for things, and she doesn’t want you to feel demeaned. Maybe she can contribute to the cost of a date afterward, at home.
You’ll find that you avoid a lot of arguments with your girlfriend if you simply sit down and have straightforward discussions with her.
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #3 — Take a Step Back and Take it all In!
You see, it frequently happens that the specific things we argue about might not really matter much, but if you step back and analyze them, you’ll see a pattern that may be instructive. Try this: analyze how the arguments start and see if there’s a connection.
If your fights seem to focus on one or two specific issues, you should sit down together and calmly discuss those issues. If she does things that make you feel bad, or stupid, or embarrassed, or whatever, tell her so. She might not be aware. What you must avoid, though, is judging or accusing her. Feelings aren’t good or bad, they’re just there. If you share your feelings about things, you’ll understand each other better, and you’ll find yourself paying attention to each other’s feelings more. Sharing your feelings generally leads to real solutions to problems, from compromise to entirely new ways of doing things.
Sharing your feelings with your girlfriend is a basic element of what relationships are all about. You’re in an adult relationship, not a competition, so stop trying to win and start really communicating. That way, you’ll be able to put the petty bickering behind you and enjoy the lovely woman you call your girlfriend!
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